August 21, 2019 9 min read


I had a speech prepared. I even knew what I was going to wear to her funeral. But now I was standing in front of the doctors waiting for them to give me the good news.

“It looks like the asthma attack was brought on by a pulmonary embolism. That’s when…”

“A blood clot of the lung…”

“Yes it is how did you…”

“I’m studying to be a surgeon. Pre-med.”

“That’s great. Well she has sustained an embolism and we currently have her on a high level of blood thinners and pain meds for the broken rib.

“Will she live?” That was all the information I needed, not all this fluff he told these halfwits that didn’t know medical jargon like I did.

“Oh yes. The blood thinners and antibiotics are working great. She will be in pain and groggy but definitely out of the danger zone.” I faked a smile, trying to mask my rising level of disappointment. Be happy. I had to tell myself how to feel before my facial expressions ruined my show. Why couldn’t she just roll over and die.

“Wow that’s great. Thank you...Thank you so much for saving my friend.”

“We’re happy she is responding well to the medicine.” The doctor looked pleased with herself, probably going to go home and tell all her friends how she saved the poor asthmatic girl. Meanwhile she had just fucked up all of my plans. And I couldn’t say shit about it.

“When can she go home?” I pretended to care.

“I don’t see us needing to keep her here more than a few more days.” I smiled, but inside I wanted to cry. Tonight she was supposed to die, I had prepared my remarks and everything and now the bitch had cheated death.

“Glad that you got her in here so quick. If she lost consciousness and stopped breathing anywhere else she may have been brain dead.” Wasn’t I so fortunate.

“Thanks Doctor.” I shook his hand, smiling long enough for him to get around the corner before my smile morphed back into a frown. I wasn’t happy about this bitch being alive. I went over every step and I couldn’t see anything that could have gone wrong. There was only one way that this could have gone bad.

I was ready to call him, curse him out, and demand my money back when the phone rang. Usually I would have changed my voice, said something cute for the love of my life when he called but I didn’t have any cute shit for him right now. He was the reason we were in this predicament and somehow he botched our solution.

“Yeah…” I answered the phone with a tone that was dripping in attitude, but my man failed to notice.

“What’s the word. How is she?” Since we put this together he’s been hella shook and acting all nervous like he really cared since he was the reason she was in here.

“ told me she would be dead.”

“Girl are you fucking crazy? Don’t be talking that shit over the phone.” It was against the rules of our plan to talk like this over the phone but the plan was ruined. It was after midnight and Rya was still alive. Every cell in my body wanted to jump through the phone like some slithering snake and squeeze his neck until he died. Instead, I hissed my words with as much venom as I could through a phone.

“You said we would be rid of her and now she’s in here ALIVE...STILL”

“What about the baby?” He whispered. 

“They haven’t said anything about that. I’m trying to wait before I ask.”

“Smart...that’s smart.” I was past smart. Intelligent was a better fitting word for me but one of us had to be because he was a damn fool. How the hell did I fall in love with an idiot?

“No, what would have been smart is if she were gone.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Why don’t I? You told me it would just be you and me. Now she’s still here.” When I started out as Rya’s roommate we were cool. Back then she fell in line as my trusty sidekick. I was the queen bitch around campus and she was the homely poor girl that had no family that I kind of molded. I gave her some of my old clothes and taught her how to shop at the Goodwill and still look fly. She got the hang of it and scraped money together to get her hair done and then boom. The bitch gets captain of the basketball team. The star player that’s supposed to go to the league and all she cares about are her damn grades. She neglected Chance by doing things like leaving him at our place waiting for hours until she got out of study groups. He would wait on the couch, his legs open and eyes wandering as I walked through the house. Since I was eleven I knew how to read a man. Mama taught me “don’t watch what they what they do.” And that day, his eyes were plastered to my ass like the spandex of my panties so I did what only a real down bitch would do. I did what my mama taught me to do. I satisfied the man. But somewhere between then and now things got all fucked up. “Chance you got her fucking pregnant. That’s when everything changed.”

“You act like I did that shit on purpose. I told you I couldn’t leave her because she was helping me get through my classes.”

“Yeah she was tutoring you but that didn’t mean you had to stick your dick in her.” I came home to find Rya crying and hysterical. All I heard were the words pregnant and positive and my mind went blank. I was supposed to play the supportive friend going into that bathroom and looking at five positive pregnancy tests from the seed of my man.

“Look…we were together first before I figured out that I was going to declare for the draft." He always used that as his defense as if the fact that he was going to play professional basketball. “I thought she was smart and she could help me get through the rest of my classes.” It sounded logical because in no way would any guy like Rya. Let alone the best basketball player in the school and probably top twenty five in the nation.

“Yeah right. Your so full of shit.” He said he loved me. Sent me text messages and acted like he wanted to be with me but we were still dating in the dark. No one knew about us especially Rya and that was starting to piss me off to the point that I questioned was any of this really what he said it was.

“I’m telling you it was just a late-night study session thing that went to far.” He told me that a dozen times but he acted so afraid to tell the world the truth.

“Then why haven’t you told her. Why are we not public with our relationship.”

“I told you girl this shit is delicate. It could get messy then my draft position would drop and so many other things would fall through. Do you want that, do you want to be  your whole life.”

“You know I don’t. I just want to make sure your not leading me on. My heart can’t take that.”

“I love you. How could I lead you in any way but down the aisle.” I couldn’t help but smile when he said little things like that. Things like that made waiting on him a little bit easier.

“And when I met you I didn’t want her anymore.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because I’m madly in love with you. I knew it from the first second I saw you.” It did seem like love at first site. I remembered when Rya brought him by the apartment introducing him as her boyfriend. I usually had different taste in men than her, but I recognized this guy immediately. His face was everywhere and she barely knew who he was.

Her ignorance for things made me laugh but I could tell immediately that her “boyfriend” wanted me. How he starred at me when she walked into the kitchen. We were alone and his eyes were locked on my body.

“I knew you wanted to fuck me from that first day I met you. I knew you couldn’t really want her.”

“Why are you always saying shit like that. Its always a competition with you.” He didn’t understand what I’ve been through. What this dumb ass girl took from me and she had no idea either, but for me revenge was best served cold and taking her man was the ultimate revenge.

“So you don’t know if the baby is alive?”

“No I don’t know shit yet.”

“Dammit. That was the whole point of this. I wanted the baby to be gone not…you know.”


“I’m going to hang up you keep saying crazy shit. What I tell you?” He had said it a million times that he needed to keep things discreet.

Teams don’t like it when players have a lot of extracurricular things going on. A scandal would destroy my chances of getting drafted.

“I’ve stayed quiet long enough Chance. I want you to myself, I’m tired of sharing with her and playing this lie.” 

It was the hardest thing to do and it made me hate her, but this pregnancy took things to another level. We both decided it would be best to take Rya out of her misery. But as usual, Chance couldn’t handle anything. He doesn’t take anything seriously, and that’s why Rya is still alive.

“Look I did all the leg work. I found the guy and gave you the money to pay him. Why don’t you call him.”

“I already tried that genius. He isn’t answering his phone so I don’t know what happened.”

“You send a man to do a boy’s job that’s why. You're fucking pathetic.” The words oozed out before I could catch them.

“What the fuck did you say?” Before I could answer him, the door lurched open and all I saw were flowers.

“Hi…” It was him. The savior, the night in sweaty armor who was the reason Rya was alive.

“This shit ain’t my fault. I did what I had to do.” Chance went on with his excuses.

“I gotta go.”

“What about the baby. I need to know.” Baby baby baby...that’s all the fuck he cared about. “Call me back when you find…” I hung up on his ass and instantly put on a smile for my guest. He was the missing clue I needed. Why the hell was Rya in the hospital and not in the morgue with a bullet in her skull?

“Hi.” I went from arguing with Chance to smiling for this man that fucked up our plans.

“Hey...Lyric right? Is she okay?”

“She’s alive.”

“I brought her some lavender. Helps stress and anxiety.”

“Who are you again?”

“My name is Prez.” He put out his hand. “I was jogging and saw this man trying to rob her. So I stepped in and deescalated the situation.” He sounded like a cop. Did he figure out the plan? Was I about to get arrested?”

“Are you with campus security?”

“Naw I was just jogging.”

“You jog at night…?”

“Yeah...when I can’t sleep.” He turned away from me setting down the flowers. “I just wanted to let her know the police arrested the dude that robbed her.” My heart was pounding now.

“Oh yeah. Who was it?”

“I don’t know. I called the cops after the ambulance left with y’all. Gave them the info and the guy was still knocked out cold.”

“How did he get knocked out?” I needed to know exactly what happened. Flexing a bicep, he pulled up his right hand.


“ I just wanted to ease her mind on that. But Imma go. I left my number on the card. Tell her to hit me up when she’s feeling better.” He left just as quick as he came easing out of the hospital room.

The bitch was halfway into a coma and had two men fighting over her, and I could barely have my own. With the machines pumping oxygen and medication into her, I watched as she lay there in the hospital bed. She was defenseless, I could put a pillow over her head and no one would ever know that she died at my hands. I wanted to know what made her push as hard as she did. How did she make it number one in class and work a full-time job? How somehow between all that added another major and had a boyfriend? I couldn’t understand it.

“Lyric…” I wanted to spit on her, shove those lavender flowers up her nostrils into her fucking brain. Instead I smiled and went to her bedside caressing her hand.

“I’m here friend...I’m here.”


To Be Continued...

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